I broke a golden rule I have: If I cant spend Christmas with my own family, I don't want to spend it with anyone.
Do you think that sounds churlish?
I miss my family. They are all dead now. Many of them died around Christmas. One of them was even put to rest at New Year, thus buggering up another favourite time of year. And although my Father (whom I loved dearly) was interred at New Year, I don't witness New Year in solitude as a rule.
Just Christmas.
And for the last 8 years or so, I have kept this rule. Until this year.
This year Crazy Cat Lady managed to convince me to join her. She has asked me each of the three years we have been back in touch and I decline politely. This year, because I plan to take over her flat when she moves to the coast and I need to familiarise myself with said flat, I agreed.
Public transport doesn't run on Christmas Day in THE VAST METROPOLIS so I had to go over on Christmas Eve and come home on Boxing Day.
sigh
So, I turned up on Christmas Eve. She was having friends around. Philosophy students (CCL has a masters degree in Philosophy). I really don't like philosophy students on the whole, they tend to be a little twattish. The friends turned up. One of them - a Turkish woman - hardly spoke a word. The other - a man from Pakistan - wouldn't shut up. each in their own way was twattish.
Frequently CCL and the Pakistani Philosopher would just talk over the top of each other without seeming to be aware that they were doing so. It was excruciatingly boring.
I sat there with a fixed smile on my face saying nothing.
I sat there with a fixed smile on my face saying nothing.
And then these two self-obsessives decided they wanted to outdo each other in a game of "I've Taken More Drugs Than You Have". I don't know how they arrived at this point, but they did.
Turns out they both have the drug-taking experience your average 15 year old has. Combined.
I sat there with a fixed smile on my face saying nothing. I didn't want to get involved. It wouldn't be fair to them.
Eventually, and many hours after they should have, the Philosophers left. CCL continued to talk, and talk and talk. Repeating herself constantly. Alternating between despair and boastfulness. Strength and weakness.
Still I sat there with a fixed smile on my face. Saying nothing.
In the morning she barged into the loungeroom where i was folded up on the couch still fruitlessly trying to catch some semblance of sleep and announced:
"Just to let you know, I may have to go to the hospital this afternoon for an enema. I'll keep you up to date as the day goes on."
And she did both.
The next day, I fled as early as I could. Covered, Yeti-like, in cat hair and with my face aching from fixedly smiling, my voice croaky from not having used it in 40 hours and I wondered if I am making a terrible mistake moving into this flat.
Time, and this blog, will tell.
Eventually, and many hours after they should have, the Philosophers left. CCL continued to talk, and talk and talk. Repeating herself constantly. Alternating between despair and boastfulness. Strength and weakness.
Still I sat there with a fixed smile on my face. Saying nothing.
In the morning she barged into the loungeroom where i was folded up on the couch still fruitlessly trying to catch some semblance of sleep and announced:
"Just to let you know, I may have to go to the hospital this afternoon for an enema. I'll keep you up to date as the day goes on."
And she did both.
The next day, I fled as early as I could. Covered, Yeti-like, in cat hair and with my face aching from fixedly smiling, my voice croaky from not having used it in 40 hours and I wondered if I am making a terrible mistake moving into this flat.
Time, and this blog, will tell.
